How to Survive Your First Holiday Season Without Someone You Love
Your first holiday season after losing someone you love can feel overwhelming. The traditions, the music, the gatherings, the empty chair—everything has a way of reminding you who’s missing. Even moments that used to bring joy can suddenly feel unfamiliar or painful.
If you’re entering this season for the first time without someone special, please hear this:
You’re not doing anything wrong. And you’re not alone.
Grief doesn’t take a holiday break. It doesn’t follow a calendar. And it doesn’t care that everyone around you seems to be celebrating. But there are ways to move through the season with a little more gentleness and a little less pressure.
Here are a few thoughts that may help you survive—and maybe even find small moments of peace—during your first holiday season without someone you love.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
Some moments might surprise you with warmth, and others may hit you harder than expected. Both are normal. You don’t owe anyone a perfect smile or a cheerful attitude.
If you need to cry—cry.
If you need to take a break—take one.
If you want to skip an event—skip it.
Grief doesn’t follow holiday expectations, and you don’t have to either.
2. Decide What Traditions to Keep—and What You’re Not Ready For
Traditions can stir up both comfort and pain. You may not feel ready for everything you used to do:
- Putting up the tree
- Cooking their signature dish
- Going to Christmas Eve service
- Hosting gatherings
- Watching certain movies or listening to certain songs
It’s okay to scale back, simplify, or do things differently this year.
It’s also okay to keep a tradition if it brings you comfort.
There’s no “right” way. There’s only what your heart can handle.
3. Create a Simple Way to Honor Them
You don’t need something grand—a small gesture can help keep their memory close without overwhelming you. A few ideas:
- Light a candle in their honor
- Hang an ornament that reminds you of them
- Set out a photo
- Share a favorite story at dinner
- Visit their resting place
- Do one small act of kindness in their memory
These little moments can bring both tears and warmth—and that’s okay.
4. Accept Help When It’s Offered (and Ask When You Need It)
In the first year, simple tasks can feel bigger. Let people be there for you:
- Let someone help with decorating
- Accept the meal they want to bring
- Ride with someone to an event
- Ask a friend to check in on tough days
People often want to support you—they just don’t know how. Letting them in doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Say “No”
The first holiday season can be emotionally draining. You don’t have to attend every gathering or meet every expectation.
You might say:
- “Thank you for inviting me, but I’m not up for it this year.”
- “I may come for a little while—I’ll see how I feel.”
- “I appreciate the offer, but I need a quiet night.”
Your wellbeing matters. Protect your energy.
6. Find a Quiet Space When You Need One
If you attend a gathering, you may need a moment to step out. That’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of being honest with yourself.
Take a short walk.
Step outside.
Sit in a quiet room for a moment.
Breathe.
Small breaks can help you make it through the larger moments.
7. Give Yourself Grace
You don’t have to “be strong,” and you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. Grief is hard work. Some days you’ll feel like you’re making progress; others may catch you off guard.
Give yourself grace in the moments that feel heavy.
Give yourself grace in the moments you find joy, too—joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten.
A Final Word
If you’re facing your first holiday season without someone you love, please remember this:
There’s no right way through it. There’s only your way.
Your heart is learning how to live in a season that looks different now. Be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who understand. And hold onto the memories that bring light into the darkest days.
At Moore Funeral Home, we walk with families through these difficult firsts every single year. If you need support or simply someone who understands what the holidays can feel like after a loss, we’re here.
May this season bring moments of comfort, quiet strength, and the reassurance that you’re not walking this road alone.
