Why the Holidays Feel Hard After a Loss

Learn gentle, practical ways to support children grieving during Christmas—from honest conversations and memories to routines, reassurance, and inclusion.

Your first holiday season after losing someone you love can feel overwhelming. The traditions, the music, the gatherings, the empty chair—everything has a way of reminding you who’s missing. Even moments that used to bring joy can suddenly feel unfamiliar or painful. If you’re entering this season for the first time without someone special, please hear this: You’re not doing anything wrong. And you’re not alone. Grief doesn’t take a holiday break. It doesn’t follow a calendar. And it doesn’t care that everyone around you seems to be celebrating. But there are ways to move through the season with a little more gentleness and a little less pressure. Here are a few thoughts that may help you survive—and maybe even find small moments of peace—during your first holiday season without someone you love. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel Some moments might surprise you with warmth, and others may hit you harder than expected. Both are normal. You don’t owe anyone a perfect smile or a cheerful attitude. If you need to cry—cry. If you need to take a break—take one. If you want to skip an event—skip it. Grief doesn’t follow holiday expectations, and you don’t have to either. 2. Decide What Traditions to Keep—and What You’re Not Ready For Traditions can stir up both comfort and pain. You may not feel ready for everything you used to do: Putting up the tree Cooking their signature dish Going to Christmas Eve service Hosting gatherings Watching certain movies or listening to certain songs It’s okay to scale back, simplify, or do things differently this year. It’s also okay to keep a tradition if it brings you comfort. There’s no “right” way. There’s only what your heart can handle. 3. Create a Simple Way to Honor Them You don’t need something grand—a small gesture can help keep their memory close without overwhelming you. A few ideas: Light a candle in their honor Hang an ornament that reminds you of them Set out a photo Share a favorite story at dinner Visit their resting place Do one small act of kindness in their memory These little moments can bring both tears and warmth—and that’s okay. 4. Accept Help When It’s Offered (and Ask When You Need It) In the first year, simple tasks can feel bigger. Let people be there for you: Let someone help with decorating Accept the meal they want to bring Ride with someone to an event Ask a friend to check in on tough days People often want to support you—they just don’t know how. Letting them in doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. 5. Don’t Be Afraid to Say “No” The first holiday season can be emotionally draining. You don’t have to attend every gathering or meet every expectation. You might say: “Thank you for inviting me, but I’m not up for it this year.” “I may come for a little while—I’ll see how I feel.” “I appreciate the offer, but I need a quiet night.” Your wellbeing matters. Protect your energy. 6. Find a Quiet Space When You Need One If you attend a gathering, you may need a moment to step out. That’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of being honest with yourself. Take a short walk. Step outside. Sit in a quiet room for a moment. Breathe. Small breaks can help you make it through the larger moments. 7. Give Yourself Grace You don’t have to “be strong,” and you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. Grief is hard work. Some days you’ll feel like you’re making progress; others may catch you off guard. Give yourself grace in the moments that feel heavy. Give yourself grace in the moments you find joy, too—joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. A Final Word If you’re facing your first holiday season without someone you love, please remember this: There’s no right way through it. There’s only your way. Your heart is learning how to live in a season that looks different now. Be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who understand. And hold onto the memories that bring light into the darkest days. At Moore Funeral Home, we walk with families through these difficult firsts every single year. If you need support or simply someone who understands what the holidays can feel like after a loss, we’re here. May this season bring moments of comfort, quiet strength, and the reassurance that you’re not walking this road alone.

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This year marks a milestone for Moore Funeral Home — 80 years of serving families in our community. As we reflect on our history, it’s impossible not to think of the people who shaped this place into what it is today. For me, that story begins with my dad, Larry Moore. In celebration of our 80th year, we placed a bronze plaque outside of our chapel naming it the Larry Moore Memorial Chapel in his honor and memory. This is more than a name — it’s a tribute to his vision, his hard work, and his deep commitment to the families of our community. In 2011, when a tornado destroyed our original chapel, Dad saw an opportunity not just to rebuild, but to build better. At a time when many funeral homes were downsizing to cut costs, he chose to do the opposite — creating a spacious, beautiful chapel designed to bring comfort and dignity to every service held here. He wanted families to have a special place to honor their loved ones, and he made sure they did. Dad also had a knack for noticing details that made a difference. At the old funeral home, built years earlier by his brother Ronnie Moore, he often joked (though he meant it) that the chapel was on the “wrong side” of the building. When services began, the family and casket had to be escorted through the lobby, past guests waiting there. He promised that if he ever rebuilt, things would be different. When the new chapel was constructed after the tornado, it was exactly the way he envisioned it — on the other end of the building, with a thoughtful layout that allowed families to enter the chapel privately and without distraction. The Larry Moore Memorial Chapel is a space built with love, foresight, and respect — qualities that defined my dad’s life and his work.  We will dedicate the chapel during our One Moore Ride Cruise-In on Saturday, October 18, 2025. I hope you’ll join us as we celebrate Dad’s legacy, this special milestone in our history, and the community we are so proud to serve. For me, this chapel will always be a reminder of Dad’s belief that families deserve the best we can give them — and I’m honored to have his name on the place where so many lives are remembered.

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